What Happens To Nurses When Patients Omit Information?

Depending on who you ask, one of the best things and the worst things about being a nurse is all the questions you get asked. Not a day passes that someone doesn’t text me a photo of some body part asking “Does this look infected?” “Do you think this is strep?” “Does this sourdough bread have gluten?” (BTW Aunt Marge, yes. Stop eating bread. You have celiac disease.) It’s like that stupid radio commercial “Now, you have a friend in the diamond business.” Except it’s the medical business. And, for the most part, I am thrilled to zoom in on that photo of your kid’s tonsils or take a look at that cut on your knee. I am happy to lend you the benefit of my experience and prevent you from getting yourself into a situation that could damage you permanently. And I’d like to think that everyone out there would do the same for me, not just my friends, but my patients as well.

But, the year is 2020 and everyone has lost their EVERLOVING MINDS. We don’t have enough PPE, we don’t have enough time and we are still asking patients if they’ve traveled outside the US in our COVID questionnaires, as if the US isn’t a freaking hotbed of infection. Who is even writing these things? I mean, really, Americans can’t even travel into many countries currently. We are one of the main ones spreading disease now. 14-day quarantines are mandatory all over the place and Canada has flat out said “No thanks.” to Americans crossing the border. Yeah- so I don’t really feel very protected as a healthcare professional if you tell me you haven’t traveled outside the US recently.

Here is the deal- we know, as nurses, that we accept a great deal of risk when we take the Nightingale Pledge and put your health, safety, and comfort above our own. We really don’t ask for much from our patients. Do you need a sponge bath? Sure- it won’t be like that Cinemax special you saw in 1987, but we’ll get you cleaned up, for sure. Do you need help getting to the bathroom? My pleasure. I’ll even turn my head so you can go in comfort. You get the picture, we don’t say no to much and we aren’t grossed out by anything. So, what will help us feel protected? Honesty. That’s right people. Just tell us the truth.

If you call the triage line and they go through that ridiculous COVID-19 questionnaire, answer the questions honestly. Don’t tell me you don’t have a fever and then practically OD on NSAIDS so you can stroll into the appointment fever-free. Don’t tell me you haven’t been coughing or had a sore throat and then practically cough a lung into my lap while I do your assessment. Don’t tell me you have been social distancing, as recommended by the CDC, but post a photo of yourself at a graduation party with 400 people and zero masks. This is the kind of stuff that drives us nurses crazy. This says “I don’t care about your health because I’m too worried about making sure I’m okay and can have a good time.” SELFISH. And stupid because, guess what, WE WILL SEE YOU ANYWAY. There you have it. The secret. We have a legal and moral obligation to see a patient who is sick. Even sick with COVID-19. But if I know you’re coming into my office and are a possible point of infection- I will be able to protect myself better. By lying, you take my options away and, at some point, a nurse gets sick and that’s one less person to care for your selfish butt.

Wear a mask, people. The virus doesn’t care about you. It’s not going to skip you because you are young, healthy, a Democrat, a Republican, a Jesus loving, cookie baking, apron-wearing Grandmother. The virus doesn’t care. And if you do get sick, tell the truth. Stop hurting people. Stop being the source of misinformation. Help us help you. It’s why we became nurses. To help you.